so, I’m going to be a wife in 3 weeks.

And I have to say, it’s a bit intimidating.

Partly because I’m marrying a really hot, incredibly godly guy; and partly because I’m finding that most of my expectations from my childhood and even past year are not quite being met.

Pinterest has caused more stress than help, to be honest. Random bit of advice: Brides, do not rely on Pinterest to get an accurate image of what you want for your wedding. It won’t turn out like that unless you’re planning on spending at least $30,000 on your wedding.

I really cannot explain why I always imagined that my engagement would be full of DIY projects (since I would clearly be artistic and have magical, creative hands), late night giggles over wedding planning with my seven best friends/bridesmaids, and a perfectly followed timeline. I always thought that for the honeymoon I’d have six brand new outfits that were all perfect and designer. I always dreamed of absolutely EVERYTHING flowing perfectly in every single facet of the wedding planning process.

I didn’t imagine I’d be a total brat at my first go-round at trying on wedding dresses.

I didn’t think I’d have meltdowns for the month before the wedding.

I didn’t think I’d put programs and seating charts off until the last minute.

I didn’t think about the fact that when you become an adult, your friends do too, and you all have lives and jobs and families and college and stuff like that.

BUT.

I never imagined I’d marry a man who actually wanted to help with the wedding planning–but I am, and I can’t imagine planning all this without him.

I always said I’d never get married in a church–but I am, and it’s going to be beautiful.

I never thought I’d wear a veil, or a dress with beading and a train–but I am, and I couldn’t be happier with it.

There have been so many blessings along the way with this wedding planning process. My mom has been Superwoman through all of this. She has done more for this wedding than I can ever express, and I’m beyond grateful. My dad is building my backdrop for the ceremony; and went with me the first time I saw the venue where, we later decided, would be where we celebrate and dance and eat after the ceremony. So many people have offered to help, and our wedding is not being run by a DJ or a photographer or musicians I just found online. These people are friends, people I’ve worshiped with, had real conversations with.

It’s really almost here. People keep saying, “Wow, this March!? That’s so soon!” but really, we’ve been engaged since New Year’s Eve LAST year. Back then, it didn’t feel soon at all. It didn’t even feel soon when Joshua and I got back from camp in August. But it’s almost here, and I am about to commit my life to the man God gave me 649 days ago. And GOSH DARN IT I AM EXCITED.

So there are the ramblings of a slightly delirious, often overwhelmed, mildly bridezilla-y, super duper stoked almost Mrs. Rushing. Thanks for reading all the way to the end! I have terribly missed blogging, and it’s good to be back and letting the words, albeit a bit disjointed, flow from my fingers.